Ants in My Pants
Monday, May 23, 2005
Online dating?
So I was bored one day at work last week, and decided to post a profile on one of these on-line dating sites. I didn't join the site, that is, pay money so I could write and receive emails from other posters, I just put on a profile and can look at other peoples' profiles.
Now, it's not that I don't think people can meet the love of their life on-line, but...the whole idea of on-line dating is something I find terribly depressing. We've become such an individualized culture that no one meets face to face anymore.... OK, you do see a person's picture in an on-line profile...but pictures are static, not a true indicator for someone you've never met before.
I think the thing I find most shocking is: I was looking on it yesterday, for people geographically close to me, and I read one post from a woman 2 years younger than me, who went to the same high school. Looking at the picture closely, and using clues from what she wrote about her family, siblings, ethnicity, etc., I was able to figure out who she is... Now, granted, I haven't known the girl for something like 18 years, but all I could think was "jeez, this girl was one of the cutest and sweetest girls in her grade, I remember her as kind, smart, popular, maybe a little ditzy but not in a bad way, why is it that she needs to use an on-line dating site??"
So I guess basically I'm just wondering why is it that more and more people are turning to this mode of meeting people. Is it that people work too much and have no time for activities where they could meet someone in person? Have we become so used to interfacing on a computer that we cannot do so live? Do we now need to quantify all of our attributes to find someone who's a match percentage-wise? Is there a thrill of anonymity?
I dunno, I guess I'm just throwing this out there, to see if anyone has a comment. (You can now make comments on my blog, thanks Parl!)
Meanwhile, maybe I better go check out J-Date? :)
Comments:
been wanting to leave comments for a while . . . especially after the snake entry ;-) thanks to parl i guess.
online dating? interfacing through a computer? i read a great short story written by j.g. ballard, (yes that big white tome i carted all over the beach), i have a feeling it was called 'the greatest television show on earth' (or possibly 'the recognition').
written in 1965/66, how well has he diagnosed society's cultural diseases long before they've become a reality? yet still a reality they become.
cheers sam
online dating? interfacing through a computer? i read a great short story written by j.g. ballard, (yes that big white tome i carted all over the beach), i have a feeling it was called 'the greatest television show on earth' (or possibly 'the recognition').
written in 1965/66, how well has he diagnosed society's cultural diseases long before they've become a reality? yet still a reality they become.
cheers sam
# posted by 
: 5/23/2005 10:55 PM
: 5/23/2005 10:55 PM
Goood point Ben. Makes me think of how in one (or more) of Isaac Asimov's Robots novels, there's a planet where people don't interact in person at all, they've got lots of robots working for them, but they rarely ever (and are somewhat loathe to) meet other humans.
Thank you for posting this Sam! As much as people have encouraged me to try this out, (on-line dating) I just can't bring myself to do it.
For instance, when they ask you about the person you'd like to meet, I can honestly say, 'I don't know..I won't know until I meet them, ' because goodness that some of the people I've liked best in my life, wouldnt be people I could describe on paper. (Or, on a computer screen rather)
But yes, I DO think people find themselves busier than usual and consider their time more valuable as such and so they don't want to 'waste' their time on talking to strangers if it might not pan out, so they sign up for service in the hopes that the odds are a LITTLE greater they'll meet someone they like, based on the compatibility and activity factor. Its too bad we've come to this, but its true.
Then again, one could think, 'hey..I might not have ever met this person, had it not been for the internet.' Thats what some people I know who have done it have said.
For instance, when they ask you about the person you'd like to meet, I can honestly say, 'I don't know..I won't know until I meet them, ' because goodness that some of the people I've liked best in my life, wouldnt be people I could describe on paper. (Or, on a computer screen rather)
But yes, I DO think people find themselves busier than usual and consider their time more valuable as such and so they don't want to 'waste' their time on talking to strangers if it might not pan out, so they sign up for service in the hopes that the odds are a LITTLE greater they'll meet someone they like, based on the compatibility and activity factor. Its too bad we've come to this, but its true.
Then again, one could think, 'hey..I might not have ever met this person, had it not been for the internet.' Thats what some people I know who have done it have said.
# posted by : 5/24/2005 1:02 PM
: 5/24/2005 1:02 PM
You wouldn't know Rob, she was a couple years younger than me...and may as well let her keep the anonymity the web provides (translate: I'll tell you in person sometime!)
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